I'm Kinda Over Facebook...

Hey boo,

How's it going?

I'm kinda feeling over Facebook... I know, shocking, right?!?!?  ME, the Facebook addict, is sick of it?!?!  Cuh-razy...

But seriously, I'm just scrolling through my newsfeed, and I'm just like, meh, who cares?  I know, I sound like the biggest hypocrite ever because how many times have I posted something that is "who cares" worthy? Too many to count.

My little Facebook "community" has been wonderful since you died.  So I feel bad dissing it, or giving up on it.  Because seriously, I'm friends with some really AMAZING people.

But I'm just tired of it.  Tired of reading complaints about things that now seem incredibly unimportant to me.  Again, totally hypocritical of me, because I've complained A LOT about little things, and I STILL know that I complain.  But maybe this "over it" attitude is because I'm at a point where I've got enough stress and crazyness going on in my own life, that I just can't handle adding other people's stresses to my thoughts.  Who knows?

I'm also tired of being jealous of seeing happy faces.  Seeing families go out and do all these fun things.  Seeing couples go on dates.  Seeing daddies with their children.  It just makes me think "I remember what 'happy' feels like... maybe..." I know I was happy once, but it's all just a memory now...

Plus, it's obviously a big time-waster.  "Ain't nobody got time for that."   Maybe by cutting down on FB, I'll start sleeping more, because I'll be able to get everything done sooner... Who knows?

But I still need to use it as a way to keep in touch with people...

And I use it so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself all of the time...

So I guess I'll still post stuff...  And if people are like 'meh, who cares?' then they can just scroll on by it, or unfriend me, or boycott me, or hide my stuff, or whatever.  I know the people who do care will take notice.  And of course I need to post pics of the kiddos for your parents and the rest of the family!

Anyways, that's just the way I'm feeling right now.  I guess the moral of the story is that I'm probably not going to be following my newsfeed as much, but still posting my thoughts/comments/pics when I feel like.

I'm sure I'll be back on FB as much as ever again soon!  This is probably just a weird phase... Maybe they should update the "stages of grief" (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, or something like that...) to include "withdrawal from social media."  Ha, I'm hilarious.

But of course, I still love Pinterest! :-)

Missing you always.

Hearts.

Chili Cook-off

Hey boo,

How's it going?

I feel like all my emails are super depressing lately.  So let me change it up a bit and just talk about some random stuff from my day...

My department had a Chili Cook-off today during lunch.  I think 9 people brought in different chili's, and there were 3 judges who had to try every single one.  The rest of us could just pick and choose which to eat, although a lot of people also tried every single one.  I only tried 5.  :-)

So yeah, it was something different.  I really liked the chicken chili's the best.  There were also some sides and toppings to go along with it.  The cornbread was AH-MAY-ZING!  Yum yum yum, delicioso! :-)  You know how I love my carbs!

Anyways, that's about it.

Lovebuckets!!!

Stance

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So, last week on the way to the girls' gymnastics class, I pulled up to a stoplight next to a Maserati.

Obviously, in the spirit of you, I was scoping it out.  Because in the past, if I came home and was like "Babe, I saw a Maserati on the road today", you would have proceeded to ask me a bunch of questions about it to determine what type of Maserati it was.  Then you would have Googled it and showed me pictures, until I was like, "Yeah, it was one like that."

Well, I obviously knew that just because of the brand, the car probably cost something like 4 years worth of my salary.  And of course, it looked shiny and nice.  But I was trying to figure out if YOU would think it was cool.

Just this past June, I was secretly trying to rent a "cool" car for you to drive for your 30th birthday.  And I wasn't having much success getting the obvious cars that I was 100% sure you thought were cool.  So, I was trying to be sly to see if I could go after a different type...

We were driving around one day and saw some car that had a "throaty" sounding engine, and I asked you if it was cool.  You said "It was OK..."  which surprised me, because I thought it looked like a nice car and that you would FOR SURE think it was cool based on how it sounded!

So, I just asked "What makes a car cool?"
And you said "Stance."
And I said "What?!?!  What the heck does that mean???"
And you were like, "You know... Staaannnnccce..."
And I was like, "K, thanks for clearing that up for me!" :-P
So you said "It has to look like it's about to pounce!"
Me:  "Um, it's a car, not our cat."
You:  "It has to look like it's going FAST even when it's STANDING STILL!"
Me:  "Ooohhhhh!  Ok, like 'Slow down, this is a neighborhood!'" (I was referencing this commercial:

)

You:  "Exactly."

So anyways, back to this Maserati...  It was already at the stoplight as I was approaching and pulled up next to it.  As I said, I was busy scoping it out to see if it was a "Chaz cool" car.  And then of course I made eye contact with the driver.  Eeek!  Before I could look away, I felt like the guy was like "Sup, yeah, I'm in a car that is the price of your house.  How do you like them apples?"  And obviously I thought, "Oh man, this guy wants me to race him!!!! Should I rev my engine!?!??"  Yes, I was driving the minivan.  And yes, I was only joking to myself.  I'm hilarious like that.

I think that your response to eye contact with the driver would have been a "Sup" head nod that guys do.  But what do I know...?

So anyways, the light turned green, and in my head, I could picture you saying something like "Get it, dude!  Drop the hammer!"

He did not "get it"  and there was no "hammer dropping."  We were on 32nd.  The speed limit is 35 mph.  But I guesstimate he was doing upwards of about 41 mph!  Risque! :-P

Anyways, the moral of the story is, there are about 472,578,963,102,854 things each day that remind me of, and make me think of you.  One of those being:  cars.  And I will always remember that "stance" determines the coolness of a car.

I miss you.

Hearts!

P.S.  I had to do some Googling about this car, and did you know that the shoe Fiat dealership is also a Maserati dealership??? That's probably why that car was cruising around our neck of the woods...

Half of a Year

Hey Boo,

How's it going?

So, yeah.  It's been 6 months.  Half of a year.  Blah.

It's weird because it seems like it gone by so fast, and yet so slow, all at the same time.  I hardly have any sense of time anymore...

I miss you.  Always.  I think about you.  Always.

I seriously CANNOT believe that you are gone.  It's been 6 months, and it still hasn't really sunk in.  Will it ever?

In case you were wondering, your bathroom still smells like you...  Not it a gross way! :-)  It smells like you after a shower.  Like your soap.  And your cologne.  I pretty much haven't done anything to your bathroom, except brush my teeth in it, and grab towels.  Otherwise, it is still the way you left it.  6 months ago.  Your glasses are on the counter, with your contact case.  Your toothbrush is by the sink.  Your razor is in the shower.  I just don't think I will ever be able to move, or change, or do anything to that bathroom.

Half of a year.  How is this even possible?!?!

I love you times a million.

Hearts.

Kiddos

Hi boo,

How's it going?  I'm just meh...

The kids have officially transitioned to their next rooms at school.  The girls are now in Green Room and Will is in the Wobbler room.  I feel like the girls were JUST in the Wobbler room, so it's so weird.  They were transitioning right when Will was born.  So it has been almost 10 months, but still...

They are just growing up WAY too fast.  I can't even stand it!

The girls are Talky-McTalkersons...  Seriously, like full sentences.  They continue to impress me every day!

And Will thinks he is such a big boy.  He pulls up on everything and "jigga jigga jings." :-)  He likes to scootch scootch on the red/blue "car" too.  It is so cute.

Anyways, I don't have anything exciting to say.  I'm just missing you tons, as usual...

Hearts!

Your Face vs. Mine

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So, lately I think I've discovered that I know your face better than my own.

Like, I can picture you clear as day in my head.  And I look at pictures and videos of you, and I'm just like, how the frick is it even possible that you are gone?!?!  That I'm never going to see you walk through the door again?!?!?  I can't even wrap my head around the idea.  I can still SEE where you should be in the house, the places you would sit, where you would come in after work and I would be sitting on the couch nursing Will while the girls played in the living room.  It's just so weird.  Is this real life?!?!

And then I look in the mirror, and I don't even recognize myself.  I look at the person and I think, is that really me?!?!  Is that what I look like?  I don't remember looking like this... Seriously, weird.  I just can't even explain it.

The moral of the story is, I miss you.  You should still be here.  This sucks.

Love.

Violet Pooped Today

Hey boo,

How's it going?

I'm pretty proud of Violet.  This is the 3rd day in a row that she has pooped!  That's a big deal for her!  Lately it's been that she poops once ever 3 or 4 days!

I've been cutting down how much dairy she has (and Charlotte too), and increasing how much water they drink.  I've also cut out bananas, and started giving them more berries instead.

I hope it's working!

Anyways, that's the big new around these here parts... I know, exciting right?

Hearts!