Basket Case

Hey boo,

How's it going?

I can feel myself starting to basket case about stuff. Yeah, I just used basket case as a verb, so what? :-)

a) The holidays are coming up. Which blows.

b) I'm pretty much jealous of everyone's "happy" life. Even if their happy life is really just fighting with thier husband, at least they have a husband to fight with.

c) Will is the same age as the girls were when you died. And just watching him makes me think of the girls at that age, and just how different life was. I also just look at him and remember how you don't even know him, and he doesn't know you. And it makes me so fricken angry and sad. Blah.

I went to Family Fare during lunch today, and I can't even remember what I saw in the store, but I know it made me all emotional, with that "about to cry" feeling that I had to push down. I think it might have been something about Christmas, or who knows what.

Basically, I'm at a crazy level of tired, so I can hardly think straight. I can never call the kids by the right name anymore, and sometimes I can hardly even get a sentence out to tell them what to do or answer a question.

I know I need to start taking care of myself and getting more sleep. But it's just hard to do. (Violet would say "It's hard to do though." It's something she says a lot.)

Anyway, bleh. I'm missing you. A lot a bit.

Ok, hearts.