Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Weather People

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So, this morning at work, the topic of weather came up.  And then we began discussing the weather people on the news...

A co-worker was name certain weather people, it brought up stuff that you and I used to talk about it... I was like, oh yeah, that woman works 24/7, she's on the early morning news and the 11pm news... Remember always talking about that?

We also talked about one of the weekend weather people that you couldn't stand.  You used to always complain about her face... haha!

And then the person brought up Ginger Zee and I just started laughing.  I was like, oh yeah, I know Ginger Zee.  I used to tease Chaz all the time that he had a crush on her.  Remember how you would go on and on about Ginger Zee on the weekend weather on Good Morning America?

And then I realized, we are huge dorks!  Why did we talk so much about the weather people on the news!?!?!?

Even if it was extremely dorky, I still miss it.  I miss you...


Monday, October 28, 2013


Hey Boo,

How's it going?

So, remember how we thought it was difficult to leave the house after we had kids?  Just thinking about packing them up with all their gear was exhausting...

Well, it's even worse now.

I feel trapped.

When you were hear, if we really needed to get out, one of us could stay home with the kids while the other ran errands or went out or grocery shopped, etc.

Now, I can never leave the house.  Unless I want to find a baby-sitter...

If I have any errands, I try to run them during lunch at work.  But I can't do everything during that short time.

So, on Fridays my sister takes the kids for a few hours in the morning, and I utilize that time to grocery shop.  I will also occasionally schedule appointments during that time, because I know that I have a guaranteed baby-sitter lined up.

I also get out on Thursdays to go to therapy.  But I never run errands during that time because my mom is here alone with all 3 kids.  I try to schedule my therapy appointments so that the majority of the time I am away, the kids are napping.  That way it's not too stressful on my mom... But I still just hurry right to therapy, and then as soon as it's done, I rush right home.

And that's about it.

I am trapped.

Right now, I have a prescription that needs to be picked up.  As I mentioned before, our insurance crap is all screwed up.  I told the pharmacy that I was going to get that straightened out first, so that I don't have to pay full price again.  But since I have to wait for the insurance company to update their info, I really need to pick up the prescription now.  I only have a couple days left of my current stuff, so I can't wait until Friday (and this Friday, my sister isn't taking the kids because she is out of town).  However, I can't get it, because there is nobody here with the kids.  If you were here, one of us (probably you) would buzz down to the pharmacy to get it.  I can't really get it during lunch, because the pharmacy is closer to home than work. It would make no sense for me to drive all the way home, and then all the way back to work... So yeah, I have no idea how/when I am going to get this prescription... It is so frustrating.

I can never "just go" somewhere.

Also, since you've been gone, I keep feeling the need to accomplish stuff on my bucket list.  To do something interesting.  Something simple would be just going to book club in the neighborhood.  Even though it is just at the clubhouse that I can literally see from our back windows, it's just not that easy anymore.  THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS.  Something complicated would be to actually go to a Zumba class or take piano lessons.  But again, THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS...

I'm sure you're thinking that I could just ask my sister or my mom, but they are already here enough!  They are with the kids enough!  They are doing enough!  I don't want to add anything else on to them...  And to pay a sitter just so I can go to book club is absolutely ridiculous!  I now have to pay someone almost any time I go out, so having a social life just got even more expensive... And that social life would just be book club!  It's not like I'm a party animal or anything.  So yup, the only people I see are my co-workers and my family...

Another issue I'm having is that I want to put the girls in a gymnastics class.  But now that it would be just me bringing the whole crew, I just don't know how I would manage it...

So, moral of the story is, if we thought it was hard to leave the house before, it's damn near impossible now!

This is just another one of those "additional losses" that make me think "now I'm depressed."


Ok, sorry to be such a complainer...


Grown Up Crap

Hi Boo,

How's it going?  I'm just crabby, blah, annoyed, frustrated, and sad...

So, I hate dealing with "grown up" stuff... Like paying bills, making big decisions, and health insurance crap.

We have COBRA or whatever for our health, dental, and prescription insurance now, and it is SO CONFUSING!  I never know who to call when I have questions.  I don't even understand what COBRA means!

I'm so frustrated right now because I don't know what company our prescription insurance is through anymore... I've had to pay full price for 2 prescriptions because I don't have a prescription card from anybody, and I needed the scripts right away, so I was just like, whatever, I'll pay for them... Um, FYI, prescriptions aren't cheap.  Ugh...

So, I'm trying to figure it out, and I call the COBRA people.  They say I have prescription coverage through so-and-so company.  K, cool, I have a card for that.  I go to the pharmacy, give them the card, and they are like, this is not right... WTF?!?!

So, I call so-and-so company and ask what my coverage is.  They are like, you don't have any... More WTF?!?!

So, then I call the COBRA people again.  They tell me that I have coverage through that same so-and-so company.  I tell them that I just called so-and-so, and they said I don't have coverage.  The lady was like, well, I'm not sure what the deal is, but I'll send them an urgent message to get it updated, give them 7-10 business days to update their system.  WTF?!?! I need prescriptions NOW!  I can't wait 7-10 days... grrr...

So yeah, now I have to wait and see if they get their crap updated... Hopefully I'll be reimbursed for whatever I paid... I think I need to save receipts or something...

Anyways, I'm just blah about all this stuff.   I hate being a grown up.

I miss you.  Love.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Feeling Blue

Hey boo,

How's it going?  I feel blue... :-P

I wish I could explain how much I miss you.  There are no words to really express it.  I just miss you so much!  Ugh...

I had a breakdown at work today...  I try very hard to keep all my crazyness smooshed down inside while I'm at work.  Nobody wants to work with a hysterical person!  I try hard not to complain about how crappy things are for me right now.  I just try to act "normal."

But sometimes little things trigger my crazyness.  And once it starts, it is almost impossible to get back under control.  I have to leave my office and either go in the bathroom or out to my car.  And sometimes I think I have it under control, but I get back to my desk and still can't hold myself together.  I've had to take my laptop into a conference room so I could just cry and work at the same time...

Once I finally pull it back together, I'm exhausted.   I can't believe how exhausting emotions can be.  I just feel so drained.  Blah...

Anyways, like I said before, I miss you.


Monday, October 21, 2013

Imagine Dragons

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So, this is the totally random thing that I would typically email you...

Basically, my mind is blown right now!  I recently discovered Spotify, and it is so much better than Pandora!  I can pretty much type in any song or CD I want and listen to the entire thing.

So, today I decided to listen to the Imagine Dragons album because it's one of the top listened to albums, and I liked their Radioactive song...

So, remember one time when they first started playing Radioactive on the radio, I was like, "Huh, that's who Imagine Dragons is... I had seen a lot of people post about them on FB, but had never heard them..."

Well, apparently I had!  The song "It's Time" started playing, and I was like, WTF, why is this playing in the middle of the Imagine Dragons CD??? I thought maybe I had pushed something wrong so other songs were in my playlist.

Nope, that's just an Imagine Dragons song.  Ha!  I had no idea they sang that.  I was laughing to myself.  I felt like I was living under a rock or something.  I've heard that song at least a million times, and I thought it was somebody else singing it.

Ok, so maybe I'm just easily amused, but this is something I would tell you about.  I don't think anyone else would understand my crazyness...

I miss you.


Randomly Random

Hey boo,

How's it going?  I am just missing you...

My mind has been extremely more clustered lately... I have no idea why.  I have random things that pop into my head all the time, and then it's almost like as soon as it pops in my head, it's gone again!  Some of the stuff is actually important too!  I try to write stuff down, but I'm not always able to, so the thought gets lost until it decides to pop back in my mind again...

So yeah, as always, there is a ton of stuff I want to tell you, but I just can't remember it all.

Basically, I miss you.  That's really the most important thing...

Oh man, I remembered one of my random thoughts!

So, remember how when Cullen Finnerty was missing and then found dead?  There was such a big deal at GVSU about it.  And although I was very sad for his family and friends, I was annoyed with GVSU making such a big deal about it.  I was saying that there are probably A LOT of other GVSU alumni that passed away that just went unnoticed by the university.  Sure, he was a big shot football player, but does that  mean all the rest of us are just chopped liver?  I see no pomp and circumstance for you at GVSU... So yeah, I'm just annoyed at GVSU about that...  But what doesn't annoy me lately?!?!?!

Ok, that's it for now.  Love!

Monday, October 14, 2013


Hey Boo,

How's it going?  I'm just the usual...

So, there is another word that is making me bonkers lately.  "Old."  Ugh... It is like nails on a chalkboard to me.  Or like the sound of a dentist drill.  It's almost like it physically hurts me every time I hear it.

Ok, so you know that nobody pissed and moaned about turning 30 more than me.  All I did was complain about it!  You know that I got so worked up/freaked out about it that I literally threw up.  That I cried more than once in the days leading up to and after my big 3-0.  I hated turning 30.  I thought I was SO old!  Old. Old. Old!

And you would tease me about it all the time.  I was "robbing the cradle" because you were the whopping 5 months younger than me.  You loved pointing out the fact that I was in an entirely different "decade" than you were.  There was a "3" at the beginning of my age and you still had a "2."  On a survey, I would now have to choose the 30-34 age range, while you were still in the 25-29 age range.  Oh, how you loved to point out how old I was.

Well, guess what?  One of the final gifts you gave me is making me feel YOUNG!  I have realized how incredibly young I am (we are).  Young! Young! Young!  Seriously, we are not even half way through our life yet.  I just looked it up and the average life expectancy in the US is 76 for males and 81 for females!  We still have a long way to go.  A  l o n g way!  So, as I have said many times before, it's pretty much BS that you got screwed out of 46+ years of life.  That I got screwed out of 46+ years with you by my side.  That our kids got screwed out of 46+ years with their daddy.  BS.

So, I understand why people say they are old.  I used to say it all the time too.  Because we don't act like we're 16, 18, 21 anymore...

And I know that nobody near me is saying it on purpose, to make me crazy.  It's a common expression that LOTS of people say.  Nobody is trying to mean.  I can tell that there are certain words that people say, and then realize what they've said when I'm around, and kind of pause awkwardly before continuing on with their story.  It's not a big deal.  You and I used to say things like that all the time!  One of our favorite expressions was "Lay on the floor and die!"  You would ask me, "What would you do if you saw a spider?"  And I would say "I would lay on the floor and die!"  Or when you would explain to me one of the girls reactions to getting dropped off at daycare "She laid on the floor and died."  Well, that expression has pretty much been eliminated from my vocabulary, although occasionally something happens and I think it, but then I catch myself and don't say it, because it would be IA, and of course nobody but you would understand it anyways.

But from now on, I've decided that we shouldn't say we are old.  Because we are not. We are young!  The reason we don't act 16, 18, 21 anymore, is because we are "grown ups!"  We don't wear skirts where our @$$es hang out because we have learned through experience that it doesn't really look good.  We don't stay out late because we have learned through experience that we will pay the price the next day.  We have jobs, we have kids, we have spouses, we have responsibilities.  We act responsible!  We act like grown ups!

So, I am going to start new trends to get rid of calling ourselves old. When I feel like cashing in and going home at 9pm, instead of saying, "Blah, I am so OLD," I'm going to say, "Blah, I'm such a grown up!"  When I talk with my friends about kids and insurance policies instead of cute boys and how wasted we got last night, I'm going to say "Blah, I'm so responsible!"  Or when we talk about how we can no longer do a back-handspring, our bones crack when we get out of bed, or that we were just prescribed bifocals, I'm going to say "Blah, time is really taking it's toll on my body!"  (Yeah, I know the last one is extra dorky, but whatevs...)

We are grown-ups.  We are responsible.  And of course our bodies have experienced a little wear and tear.  But we are  F A R  from old.  I've decided that the only people allowed to say they are "old" are males 76 and older, or females 81 and older.  They can be considered old because they have outlived the average American.  They can BRAG about being old.  They should be PROUD to be old.  Because with everything that can go wrong, they are pretty much awesome that they made it to that age.  They can show off their wrinkles, gray hair, and hip replacements with pride.  High five, Grandma, you are rockin' that cane and hunched over look!

So anyways, that's just me complaining more about another word that I've learned to hate... Apparently I've got a lot of hate going on lately... blah...

Well, I guess that's it for now.  I pretty much miss you like crazy. Cuh-ray-zee!


The Dishwasher Broke

Hey Boo,

How's it going?

So remember that one time when we would try to turn on the dishwasher and it would give a little error code and beep at us?  Well, it started doing it again... ugh...

Technically, I could wash the dishes by hand and just let the dishwasher be broken for a while, but that would just really suck.  Especially with all Will's bottles...

So, I Googled the error (LE error on an LG dishwasher), and found a Youtube video of a guy troubleshooting that type of error.  Score!

The video was a pretty good explanation, and I do know how to use a screwdriver (Like, totally!  Te-he!  Oh wait, isn't that an alcoholic drink?  [hair flip] Te-he Te-he!).  So, I probably could have unscrewed the front panel and looked at the wires... but that's probably about it (I hated all my required electrical engineering classes, it is just not my thing.  Capacitors.  Resistors.  Solder these wires.  Blah blah blah.  I'll show you where you can put this soldering iron! :-P).

So anyways, I posted the video on Facebook, asking if someone could fix it, half joking/half serious... I figured if someone thought they could fix it, then score, and if not, then I could deal with it later and just wash dishes by hand...

But somebody did offer to look at it!  Yay!  It's really hard for me to accept help from others, it's a serious hit to my pride, but this time, I really needed/wanted it.  So the next day, a friend from high school came over, looked at it, found the problem, and fixed it!!!  Woohoo!  I was so happy and so thankful!  He even offered to come back again soon to do a more permanent fix (because our dishwasher is stupid and the problem will keep happening).  That was so nice and generous!

So yeah, that's what's been going on.  I wish you were here to do all the manly stuff around the house...


Wednesday, October 9, 2013

So Much Good

Hey boo,

How's it going?  I wish so much that you could see all the people that care about you, me, and the kids.  I know you had absolutely no idea just how many lives you touched, and how highly people thought of you.

Basically, you are amazing.

I can hardly list all of the wonderful things that family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, and strangers have done for us.  It is insane.

We had dinner brought to us every night for almost 2 months!  There was such a variety of people that volunteered to do this. I could hardly believe all the people willing to take time to provide us with dinner.  This was such a blessing because of my lack of cooking skills.  Honestly, the kids and I have never eaten so good!  I bet you are a little jealous. :-)  Plus our freezer is pretty stocked with several future meals.  And on top of the meals, sometimes little extras were brought, like gift cards, ice cream, donuts, and beverages!  The dinners alone were overwhelmingly generous, but then there has even been more...

I had posted something on FB about this ice cream, and totally forgotten about it.  And then a few days later (or weeks, time kind of blends together right now), a wonderful neighbor brought it!  I can't believe she remembered and paid attention to that!  AMAZING!

Basically, the entire baby section from Meijer has been donated to us!  :-)  Seriously, our front room is overflowing with diapers and wipes for the babies.  Then there is baby cereal, baby food, baby formula, and toddler food/snacks.  We've also received baby wash, baby lotion, "butt stuff", Boogie wipes, and so many other baby necessities/accessories that I can't even name them without physically going to look at them all.  We've also been given lots and lots of clothes for the babies to wear.  All of this came from neighbors, friends, co-workers, and strangers!  Seriously, the daycare did a "diaper drive" for us, and we had just loads and loads and loads of stuff from people we've never even met!  Now aren't you glad I picked that daycare?  :-)  I am definitely happy to have our kids there!

These pictures don't even show everything!  I am in awe of how generous everyone has been.
Our first big drop off!  Holy sh*t!

Even more!

The girls had fun with the donations! :-)

I wish that you could have seen all of the people who came to your visitations and funerals.  There were A LOT of people that I had to hug and/or shake hands with.  A LOT of tears were flowing.  People drove a long way for you.  People were there that we hadn't seen in years.  So many friends from the Pew and GVSU.  So many people from Innotec.  So many people from Perrigo.  Teachers from daycare.  Not only that, people who don't even know you, they only know me, were there.  Old friends from my high school showed up. A lot of my co-workers were there.  Some people that I don't even think I've ever talked to from HMI were there.  And of course, your entire family, my entire family, and our closest friends and neighbors.  We even did a processional thing to the cemetery, and the line of cars went on for forever!  I know you never realized this, but you are kind of a popular guy... :-)

We've also been gifted/donated so many services!  Our landscaper offered to do the rest of the years lawn work at no charge.  One of our wonderful neighbors paid for our snowplowing this winter.  Another neighbor offered to pay for our "Mary Poppins" to give me an extra hand with the evening routine so my mom doesn't always have to come over.  And then this isn't really a service, but a new wedding band, that you had just picked out the week before as an anniversary gift!  Yeah, I can't even talk about that one without getting choked up...  I feel like there are more of this type of thing that I am forgetting and I feel bad.  But I am so so so appreciative of them all!

On top of all of this, there have been other fundraisers going on.  There was an online fundraiser.  I saw so many random people that I am not even friends with sharing the link for that.  There were messages on there like "I don't know you, but I saw this on FB"  or "We've never met, but I know so-and-so who told me about this."  Holy balls, I was not expecting that result.  And then your Perrigo friends organized something (I'm not sure what went on), and again, holy balls.  My coworkers opened a bank account for me, yup, you guessed it, holy balls.  And we've also received some just through the mail, h o l y  b a l l s...  These people have basically given us the gift of dealing with our emotions right now, so that we don't have to stress about "real life" for at least a little while.

There is also going to be a fundraiser event at a church near us.  A church that we have no affiliation with.  A member of the congregation somehow heard our "story" and decided he wanted to help.  What?!?!  This is another one I have a hard time talking about, because I am just overwhelmed by the generosity and kindness.  From a stranger!  Seriously, I have no words to express how thankful I am.

Oh, and have I mentioned the countless messages from Facebook friends.  People I haven't talked to in YEARS reached out to me.  People that YOU haven't talked to in years reached out to me.  I know social media gets a bad wrap (or is it rap?) sometimes, but right now, I am thankful for Facebook.  The news about you spread FAST.  And because of that, I have gotten so much support from friends online.  So many kind words.  There were so many messages, that I couldn't even respond to them all.  Well, I'm also a little absent-minded and scatterbrained, so sometimes I just completely forget to respond... But seriously, I appreciated EVERY SINGLE message, comment, or post that I read.  Plus, FB has been an "outlet" for me to say some of my stupid stuff that I can no longer talk about with you.  And people are putting up with my stupid stuff.  So that's good too!

We've also gotten so many cards in the mail.  I love getting real mail!  Friends sent me cards for our anniversary, to cheer me up.  There have been just funny, random cards that show up for no reason.  There have been so many sympathy cards for EVERYWHERE.  Seriously, sometimes I have to look at the return address and ask a few people how I know this person (or how this person knows us).  You honestly have no idea what an impact you have made on so many people out there.  It's been amazing.

And I can't forget the family.  Someone has pretty much been here for at least a few hours EVERY DAY to help with the babies.  Seriously, for over 2 months they have put in so much effort to be here for us.  They've cooked, they've cleaned, they've changed diapers, they've done laundry.  The bro-in-laws cleaned up the basement, and cleaned out the garage (yeah, you know that they are 2 scariest places where I can't touch anything without feeling contaminated!).  They even change the kitty litter for me!  I know the house looks like a disaster to them, but it's actually kind of "clean and organized" for our standards. :-)  Your mom and dad check up on us often too.  I know I can always message your mom about anything, and you would be proud of me that I actually talk on the phone with your dad!  I LITERALLY would not be able to go on without all of them.  Again, I just don't even have the right words to show how grateful I am that they are here for us.

And lastly, one of the most recent things... A bunch of our neighbors bought a swing-set for the babies!  Not only that, but they INSTALLED it too!  On the muggiest day ever!  They had to tear up all the sod from the area, which was probably more work than assembling the thing! :-)  And then they put wood chips down too. Plus, the week before they installed it, they power-raked and aerated the yard!  You should have seen all the people working on the yard.  All the neighbor kids were out there raking up the loose grass.  While I was just sitting in the shade, playing sidewalk paint with the babies. :-)  We really do live in the BEST NEIGHBORHOOD EVER!

Here are some pics of the install...

The beginning...


The super fun work of tearing out the sod...

There were so many people that came to help throughout the day!

Wood chips going in...

The finished product!!!!
So, I guess it was a good thing that the first weekend we moved in, you knocked on a neighbor's door and asked to borrow a wrench (or screwdriver, or something...), and how funny that the person happened to be an important person at a major home improvement store... And it's a good thing that you were like "You work for BMW, hey, I'm buying a BMW, we should talk about BMWs..."  And it's a good thing that we were like "You like to drink and have bonfires?  We do too!" :-)  You know they all loved you babe, and they are helping to take care of us too.

Ok, seriously, I am just SO freakin' AMAZED by the kindness and generosity of so many people.  There are A LOT of GOOD people in the world.  I am so glad we know some of them.  :-)  I wish I had better words and could write something super powerful to express my thanks.  Boo, maybe if you could pull some strings and get it so all of these people win the lotto or something, then that would show them! :-)  But for real, when I do a hair flip and say "Um, like, thanks or whatever, and some junk..."  I mean it from the bottom of my heart!


Tuesday, October 8, 2013


Hey Boo,

How's it going?

I don't really have much to say.  I am just feeling absolutely miserable.  I miss you like whoa.  I wish I could talk to you.  I need to talk to you.  I'm having a horrible day.  Ugh, this sucks.

I miss you.


Sunday, October 6, 2013

Stupid Grief

Hey boo,

How's it going?  Do I really even need to say how it's going with me?

So, ever since you've been gone, I've been hearing a lot about grief.  Grief this, grief that, grieving, blah blah blah.

In my opinion, grief is a really stupid word.

What does grief even mean?  Well, obviously we all know what it means, because we use it in the same context.  But for real, what is it?  Do you think this little 5 letter, 1 syllable word can even begin to encompass what grief is supposed to mean?  Because it doesn't.

I'm so sick of hearing about grief and grieving.  Seriously, that word sounds so insignificant to what is really going on.

Grief can kiss my ass.  I hate you, grief.  Fuck you, grief.  Seriously.  Fuck.  You.

I know, dropping the F-bomb, right?  You know how I feel about unnecessary swearing, but I think right now, it is totally necessary. Sometimes it is like swearing is the only thing strong enough to convey what I'm feeling.  If I said "screw you", I don't think it would show just how truly angry I really I am.  I am really FUCKING angry. FUCKING furious.  Ready to throw this FUCKING computer threw the FUCKING window because I am SO FUCKING MAD!
[Which reminds me, I'm pretty sure I swore at the doctor who delivered us the seriously SHITTY news.  I'm pretty sure I said something like "What the fuck" and I told him it was bullshit.  At least I didn't call him an asshole, I think I wanted to.]

Anyways... enough with my little spaz out...

Since that SHITTY ASS day, I have "Liked" the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation on Facebook.  Basically, it's a thing for widows (PS I hate that word too).  Anyways, they have a blog that I now follow, and a while back, they posted this about "grief".  The writer tried hard to describe what the stupid word "grief" can't really describe at all.  Even though it can't really be described, she did a really good job, and everything she said made sense.  I have actually come back and read this post several times.  So, that's why I'm sharing it with you.


So yeah, moral of the story, grief is a stupid word.  There is absolutely no word in the English language for what "this" actually is.

So babe, I am  __________.

I miss you.  I love you.

2 Months

Hey boo,

How's it going? I'm just my new usual...

So, it's been 2 months...

2 months since I last saw you breathing (even if it was because of a machine).

2 months since I last heard your heartbeat (and heard your last heartbeat).

2 months since my world ended.

2 months that I have literally been living in my worst nightmare.

It's been 2 months, and there is still a grocery list that you wrote up on the fridge.

It's been 2 months, and your toothbrush is still at your sink.  Your empty contact case and glasses are still on your bathroom counter.  The clothes you took off before you last showered here are still laying in front of your shower.  The only thing that has moved in that bathroom is my toothbrush, the toothpaste, and the Q-tips.  I hate going in there.

It's been 2 months, and there is still a pile of your dirty clothes in the corner of our bedroom.  A bottle of water and headache medicine are still on your nightstand.  I just cannot deal with them.  I don't know what my deal is, but I can't move any of it.  It's not to preserve you, I think my mind just can't comprehend the fact that you will not be coming back to pick your stuff up.  That it is my responsibility to do that now.

It's been 2 months, and it doesn't hurt any less.  In fact, it hurts more.  It is like I am living with chronic pain, that no medicine can touch.  There is no relief from this pain.  I can't even explain it, there are no words for how this feels.

These have been the L O N G E S T 2 months of my life.

2 months.  62 days. 1488 hours.  89,280 minutes.  5,356,800 seconds.  Every single one of them I think of you.

I miss you.


Wednesday, October 2, 2013


Hey boo,

How's it going?  In case you were wondering, I'm a genius...

So, 2/3 of the kids are on antibiotics for their ear infections.  Their prescription says they need 1 teaspoon, 2 times per day, for 10 days.  Typically, this should use up the entire bottle.

Well, last night I noticed that despite being through 5 days of antibiotics, we are not even close to using up half the bottle.  What the heck?

Well, looking back, I had noticed that the syringe that came with the medicine seemed really small... But I didn't question it that much, I assumed the pharmacy knew what they were doing.  So, I just filled the syringe up to the 1.0 mark.  The units on the syringe were not in teaspoons, but I thought maybe it's an even conversion...

Apparently, it's not.

I couldn't remember what the units were on the syringe, so when I got to work, I quick Googled a 1 teaspoon syringe.  I found an image of exactly what ours looked like, and the units were mL (milliliters).  Crap.  Another quick Google, and 1 teaspoon is actually equal to about 5 mL... Ugh...

Honestly, I don't know why I didn't pay attention to the units.  I mean, it's kind of my thing.  I deal with units every day.  I do conversions every day.  Granted, most of the time they are units of length or area or volume (not liquid volume), but still...

So, I call the doctor's office and speak with a nurse regarding the fact that I've been giving the kids hardly any medicine for the last 5 days... She laughed.  I wanted to tell her that once upon a time I was somewhat smart...   But anyways, she said that it's fine, I can just start giving them the correct dosage now, until the bottle is finished. So it will go a little longer than 10 days now.

But still, I'm just like, dangit! I hate giving the kids antibiotics in the first place.  And now I feel that since they were getting hardly any, it was helping to build their resistance to it, which isn't good.  I really have no idea if that's true or not, but that is just my theory.  Ugh...

So anyways, genius alert, right here.  At least I was giving them too little, not too much!

Anyways, this is me:  zzzzZZZZzzzzZZZZ