Friday, December 6, 2013

IV Months

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So, it's been 4 months now.  I don't even feel like calculating the days, hours, minutes, seconds... Every one of them sucked.

So, Will has now officially been WITHOUT you, longer than he was actually WITH you.  You left us 2 days before his 4 month "birthday."  And the thought of that pretty much makes me want to puke.

Getting him into his car seat before we left the hospital.

Carrying everything while I just rode in a wheelchair. :-)

I struggle every day with how to raise and take care of Will.  You were the one who had to show me how to clean his junk!  I don't know how boys operate!  What am I supposed to do with him??!?!

These 2 pictures just make me laugh... Angry face.

Happy face.

Right now, I'm wondering what you would want to do about his hair.  I love his curls!  But I never take the time to "style" his hair, I just let it fro out all over the place...  But now it's getting in his eyes...  Would you want to cut it, or let it be?!?!  What should I do????

Teaching the girls to hug brother...

We thought he was so BIG!  Now I can't even remember him being that SMALL!

I tell him every day that Daddy loves him.

 I know it's a stereotype, but I still want him to be somewhat tough...  But you know me... always "caution!"  By now you would be throwing him in the air and doing things that make me mad. :-)  He is surrounded by women all. the. time.  Who's going to teach him about "ratchety wrenches"  and how you can tell that it's a "blitz!"?  (Seriously, you explained what blitzing looks like to me every time we watched football, and I was just like, "still looks like everyone is doing their standard 'job'"...)

Proof that Will does cry. :-)

"Dad, not in front of my friends!" :-)

I remember after we found out that both of the twins were girls, we came home and you got out your baseball glove and a ball... You sat on the couch throwing the ball into the glove, pouting... But once they were here, you LOVED having girls.  You couldn't imagine it any other way.

But I also remember being in the ultrasound room when I was pregnant with Will.  You were sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed, leaned back with your hands behind your head (kind of like the picture below), watching the the ultrasound on the TV that they have on the wall.  We told the tech we wanted to know the gender, and when she said "It looks like it's a boy..."  Then she wiggled the thingy around on my belly more to get a different view, and said "Yup, it's definitely a boy, can you see that...?" You put both arms up, fist in the air, and looked back at me like "hell yeah!", as if the Bears just scored a touchdown... You were so excited that you got YOUR boy!  Charles Number 5!  Cinco!  V! :-)

So why in the hell don't you get to be here for him?!?!?

The best. feeling. ever.

How you would walk around with him in the evenings to settle him down.
I wish we hadn't procrastinated on going back to IL after Will was born... I wanted that damn generational picture so bad. II, III, IV, V.  Not many people can get a picture like that.  And now we can't either.

Please just know that I'll do my best with Will.  I'll show him Bears football, the Lakers and the Bulls basketball, NASCAR, and dirt racing.  And if he ends up liking foo-foo drinks when he's older, I'll make sure he knows that's OK, because his daddy liked them too. :-)



  1. Oh Sarah, I'm so sorry you have to do this without him. :(

  2. You express yourself so honestly. Thank you for being so open with us. There honestly isn't a day that I don't think of you and wish you had your guy by your side. I know it's not much comfort after the kiddos go to bed and you're alone, but I know in my very soul that he really is there right by you every step of the way. He's so proud of you. You're doing an awesome job, Sarah. Your babies are in good hands.