Happy Miserable

Hey boo,

How's it going? I'm just missing you as always...

I still constantly have the urge to email you, or think "I want to tell Chaz that" after something funny/stupid/sad/annoying/whatever happens.

It sucks.

So, I've got my Pandora playing right now, and of course, a Justin Timberlake song comes on. It's from Part 1 of the 20/20 Experience CD... I bought it when I was preggo with Will, and listened to it constantly in my car while I was driving.

So anytime I hear a song from it, it always reminds me of being pregnant, in the cold yucky winter months of February and March.

It was such a "happy miserable" time. You know I always complained of being miserable when I was pregnant. But I also loved it at the same time. It was misery worth having, so that made it happy and good.

So, a part of me doesn't want to listen to these songs, because I want them to ALWAYS remind me of that time. I want them to always give me the feelings that I had during those last few months of pregnancy.

But then another part of me does want to listen to them, so that I do have those feelings right now. But I just don't want these songs to get tainted, and lose their "magic."

I don't know, it's a weird and complicated to explain. I guess it's more of that Jukebox Therapy stuff going on...

I miss you.

Hearts.