Support Network

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So, I would just love to talk to you right now.  Or at least be able to REALLY email you, and have you actually respond...

My therapist tells me I need to build my "support network" for times like this.  I need people to just talk to, it doesn't have to be about sad, depressing, grief-ey type stuff.  Just regular, old, daily crap...  Basically, I need a bunch of different people to replace you.

I need a bunch of people who I can reach out to, so that I'm not always relying on the same person.  That is supposed to help me feel like less of a burden.  But either way, no matter who I talk to, I will feel like a burden.  And I will feel strange, and worry that the other person will be like, why is she talking about this?  Or, this is boring?  Or who knows what else...

And I don't want the other person to feel like they need to "respond" in some way.  Like, they need to give me advice.  Or relate to me somehow...

I don't know, there is just really nobody who can replace just talking to you.

Right now, I really want to talk about something that is giving me crazy anxiety because I'm super self-conscious about what happened.  Basically, I'm feeling like a big idiot.  If I were to tell you, you would just understand, because you KNOW me the best.  You would know the perfect way to respond, whether it just be saying "Oh." or giving some sarcastic remark, or just telling me not to worry/stress about it in your own unique way that would give me comfort...

I've thought of a few different people who I might be able to tell about what's giving me anxiety... But I don't want to put them in an awkward position of feeling like they need to respond.  Even though I'm pretty sure I do need to hear something, I don't know what, but something that will help ease my anxiety...

Basically, I don't feel like there is anyone I can actually "be myself" with.  There is nobody I can tell the story to, in the exact way I would tell you.  I would leave parts out, or phrase it in a not-so-airhead-ey way...

Blah.

I miss you.

Hearts.