I Want to Tell You...

Hey boo,

How's it going?  I'm just one big, blah, ballface...

It's just another evening where I don't feel like doing any of the stuff that needs to get done.  But I really need to do it, because I skipped it all yesterday.

Blah, responsibilities...

I want to write to you all the time, but I feel like I can hardly form the right words anymore.  I have so much I want to tell you, but it's all just a clusterfuck in my head.

I want to tell you about the kids.  They are growing up WAY too fast.  Like, for real. Mach speed.

I look at them, and I think, these are DIFFERENT kids than the ones that you knew.  They have changed SO much.

The girls hair is longer and getting darker.  They are speaking in sentences now.  When you were hear, they were only saying a handful of words, like "oooos,"  "ma-ma," "da-da," and Violet had just started saying "doc-terrr."

Now it's "Momma, lay down on the ground."  They want me to lay on the ground in their room before they go to sleep now, so of course, I do it.  But I bring my tablet in with me and browse Pinterest while they are "falling asleep."  Although, they never fall asleep when I'm in there, so I usually leave after 10 minutes, and then they cry for 5 minutes.  Hopefully I'll be able to break them of that habit soon.

Or Violet says "My pants too tight!"  Ha... I have no idea why she says that, because her pants are falling off her buns because they are so loose.

Also in Violet's vocabulary "I want suntin else..."  Translation: I want something else...  As in, she doesn't like whatever food I put in front of her.  It's only slightly frustrating to have them start crying as soon as I put their dinner in front of them.  (sarcasm)

Violet is really the talker, because all the phrases that are coming to my head are from her:

"I see school bus one time o'clock."  (Ha, I laughed when she started adding the o'clock to that, I have no idea where she got that.  She's really telling me "I saw a school bus one time!")

"Motorcycle scare me, Momma."  "Dog scare me one time o'clock."  "Bug scare me on the deck." "Big truck scare me."  "Noise scare me."  (Are you seeing a pattern here?  Violet is scared of lots of things, except jumping off the couch, which instead scares me!)

 Charlotte isn't as talkative at home, although she does have just as big of a vocabulary as Violet, but she is definitely more social around other people.  When we drop off at daycare, she just walks right in and starts playing with the other kids.  Violet hangs back and clings to me and doesn't want me to leave.  It's the same at gymnastics, or the time we went on an Easter Egg Hunt.  Charlotte is our social butterfly...

Oh, and Charlotte sings!  "I singin' Momma!  La la la lahala..."  It's cute.  Her and Violet also sing along when I read the book "Rock a bye baby"  and "Twinkle twinkle little star" and "Baa baa black sheep."

And Will, oh Will... His haircut has definitely made him a different person.  I look at pictures of him with his curly fro hair, and I just miss it so much.  Now he's a little man.  And he's "toddling", so taking like 5-7 steps before he falls down to crawl.  He can just stand up in the middle of the room now, he doesn't need to pull up on furniture.  I just want to be like "Stop it! Just be a baby for a little while longer..."  Ugh...

And Will is "communicating" now too.  He can do the "more" and "all done" baby sign.  Probably a bunch of others that I don't even know about.  He points to what he wants.  He knows where the snacks are kept (he points to the pantry because he wants crackers or something).

Who does he think he is, all growing up and whatnot?!?!  I'm pretty sure I'm the only person who is depressed that their kid is walking...

Oh, and I forgot to tell you... On Sunday, the girls wanted to look at the "Daddy Book", which is a photo book that one of our friends made for us.  It's paper pages, so I keep it up on the mantle so the girls can only look at it with grown-up supervision, so they don't ruin it.  Anyways, they get so excited to see you! "Daddy!!!"  and they point and laugh at the pictures.  "Daddy silly"  for one where you are sticking your tongue out.  "Daddy have-uh purse!"  for one where you are holding my pink purse. :-)  (Charlotte adds a little "uh" sound to some of her words.  I think it's cute.  "I have-uh more" is something she often says because she just loves to eat! :-))

Anyways, there is one where you are flipping off the star at the top of the Christmas tree because it won't stay on.  Obviously they don't understand the flipping off part yet, but they were like "Daddy tree!"  And then Violet said "I want to be with Daddy in there" as she points to the picture.  And I couldn't really say anything.  And then she says "I want to be with Daddy right now!"  And I was just like !!!!!  Seriously, I can't even explain the noise I made, it was like a gasp/sigh/croak/whatever... And I just started crying.  They kids are pretty un-phased by me crying now, so she just looks at me, and points to the picture again, and says "Right now!"  And finally I just said, "I know sweetie, I want to be with Daddy right now too."

Hey, have I mentioned how much this sucks?

Oh, I also want to tell you about the neighborhood.  You wouldn't even recognize it!  There are SO MANY new houses.  Seriously, sometimes I'm driving, and I'm like, "Whoa, was there always a house there?!?!"

I occasionally go the "back way" into the neighborhood.  That is something I never did, you always did it.  But now I have to do it, just to see what's going on over there.

I want to tell you about all that's going on with me.  What I'm doing.  What I'm not doing.  What I've talked about with other people.  What I ate for lunch today!!!

I want to tell you EVERYTHING.

I hate this.

It's not fair.

Blah.

K, I'm done for today.  I really need to clean up the kitchen.

I miss you out of control amounts.  Hearts!