Thursday, January 9, 2014

Isn't it Ironic?

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So, remember just a few weeks (or maybe a couple months, I don't know, either way, somewhat recently) before you died, we were having some conversation about something, and you asked me what the word "ironic" actually meant.  Like, obviously we both "knew" what it meant and could probably use in in the proper context and understand it when it was used, but what was the actual definition?

I was like, Um... You know... It's kind of like ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife...

And you were like, Really?  So, is it like a black fly in my Chardonnay?

And basically we spent the rest of the conversation trying to remember the lyrics to the Alanis Morissette song...

Well, as the new year has come up, I think I have another example.  At least, I've been calling it ironic, but I just looked up the definition of ironic, and I don't think it really is.  I guess I don't know what the term is to describe this...

So, one of my last therapy appointments happened to be on Dec 31st, aka New Years Eve.  (Or is it New Year's Eve?  I never know...).

Well, she asked about reflecting on the past year, and the "fresh start" that a new year brings.

It's funny, because I had actually been thinking about the same thing.

I had started thinking about what my New Years Resolution (or New Year's Resolution?) was for 2013.  It was to reconnect with old friends.  As we've grown up, and especially after having the girls, we kind of just dropped off the face of the earth and stopped getting out and hanging out with people.  So I really wanted to get back in touch with my friends, more than just via Facebook...

And when I look back at 2013, I did just that.  I think I have seen the friends I consider my "closest" friends more over the past 5 months than I had over the past 2 years.  I've gone out with them, they've come to our house, I've talked to some of them on the phone (gasp!), and of course, we've been messaging each other EVEN MORE on Facebook.

But all of this happened under some seriously shitty circumstances...  If this crap hadn't happened, I don't think I would have accomplished my resolution at all.

So, is that ironic?  I kind of thought so, but based on the actual definition I looked up, now I'm not so sure.

It is "something," I just don't know the word for it.

So the circumstance of how my NYR was accomplished sucks.  But accomplishing my NYR is still a good thing.

I think it was for all of us.

I think losing you was a big eye opener for A LOT of people.  And it sucks that something so major finally gave us the kick in the pants we needed.  But I think A LOT of different people have refocused some of their priorities in life.  So, high-five to you for even impacting people after your gone!

AND isn't it just amazing what a great group of friends I have.  I mean, I've known some of these girls since 2nd grade.  And the rest of them since 6th or 7th grade!  And here we are, 20 years later, still acting like the "ballfaces" that we all are. :-)  Clearly time, distance, school, careers, spouses, kids, etc, can't change the fact that we are still friends.  To me, that is just amazing.

And I know you liked this great group of friends too.  Heck, you would even say things like you were "eee ballsing because the Bears were on Monday Night Football" or describing Violet or Charlotte as "eee ballsing about Tinkerbell."  You secretly wished you from J-town, didn't you? :-)

If you could, you'd probably be "eee ballsing" for me reconnecting more with this great group of girls.

So yeah, I just wanted to share that little reflection for you.  Could you please figure out the word I'm trying to think of to describe it?  K, thanks.


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