Monday, January 27, 2014

Missing You

Hey boo,

How's it going?  I'm to the point of exhaustion where I don't even know how I'm a functioning human being anymore.

I'm pretty much barely functioning.  I think stress eats brain cells or something...

I just really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY miss you.

You know how they say "time heals all wounds" or whatever.  Baloney.  Time is passing, and I feel like I'm hurting even worse.  As time passes, I am getting better at pretending I'm fine on the outside, but inside I'm torn to shreds, and it feels like those shreds are being run through the shredder again and again and again.  I'm not sure how much I can take.  I'm not sure how I can handle this much longer.

I seriously feel like a shell of a person.  My body is present and accounted for, doing what needs to get done.  I wake up, I work, I take care of the kids.  I talk, I smile, I laugh, I cry. But it's all on the outside.  It's like I'm a robot or something.  On the inside, it's just hollow.  A hollowness that hurts.  How is that even possible for emptiness to hurt so bad?!?!?  Who knows, but it does.

I'm just not ME anymore.

I miss ME.  I miss YOU.  I miss US.

I'm miserable.


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