Hey boo,
How's it going?
Well, today it's been 3 months...
...or 13 weeks...
...or 92 days...
...or 2208 hours...
...or 132,480 minutes...
...or 7,948,800 seconds...
...and honestly, I still cannot believe that you are gone.
I miss you like whoa.
Love.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Weather People
Hey boo,
How's it going?
So, this morning at work, the topic of weather came up. And then we began discussing the weather people on the news...
A co-worker was name certain weather people, it brought up stuff that you and I used to talk about it... I was like, oh yeah, that woman works 24/7, she's on the early morning news and the 11pm news... Remember always talking about that?
We also talked about one of the weekend weather people that you couldn't stand. You used to always complain about her face... haha!
And then the person brought up Ginger Zee and I just started laughing. I was like, oh yeah, I know Ginger Zee. I used to tease Chaz all the time that he had a crush on her. Remember how you would go on and on about Ginger Zee on the weekend weather on Good Morning America?
And then I realized, we are huge dorks! Why did we talk so much about the weather people on the news!?!?!?
Even if it was extremely dorky, I still miss it. I miss you...
Love.
How's it going?
So, this morning at work, the topic of weather came up. And then we began discussing the weather people on the news...
A co-worker was name certain weather people, it brought up stuff that you and I used to talk about it... I was like, oh yeah, that woman works 24/7, she's on the early morning news and the 11pm news... Remember always talking about that?
We also talked about one of the weekend weather people that you couldn't stand. You used to always complain about her face... haha!
And then the person brought up Ginger Zee and I just started laughing. I was like, oh yeah, I know Ginger Zee. I used to tease Chaz all the time that he had a crush on her. Remember how you would go on and on about Ginger Zee on the weekend weather on Good Morning America?
And then I realized, we are huge dorks! Why did we talk so much about the weather people on the news!?!?!?
Even if it was extremely dorky, I still miss it. I miss you...
Love.
Monday, October 28, 2013
Trapped
Hey Boo,
How's it going?
So, remember how we thought it was difficult to leave the house after we had kids? Just thinking about packing them up with all their gear was exhausting...
Well, it's even worse now.
I feel trapped.
When you were hear, if we really needed to get out, one of us could stay home with the kids while the other ran errands or went out or grocery shopped, etc.
Now, I can never leave the house. Unless I want to find a baby-sitter...
If I have any errands, I try to run them during lunch at work. But I can't do everything during that short time.
So, on Fridays my sister takes the kids for a few hours in the morning, and I utilize that time to grocery shop. I will also occasionally schedule appointments during that time, because I know that I have a guaranteed baby-sitter lined up.
I also get out on Thursdays to go to therapy. But I never run errands during that time because my mom is here alone with all 3 kids. I try to schedule my therapy appointments so that the majority of the time I am away, the kids are napping. That way it's not too stressful on my mom... But I still just hurry right to therapy, and then as soon as it's done, I rush right home.
And that's about it.
I am trapped.
Right now, I have a prescription that needs to be picked up. As I mentioned before, our insurance crap is all screwed up. I told the pharmacy that I was going to get that straightened out first, so that I don't have to pay full price again. But since I have to wait for the insurance company to update their info, I really need to pick up the prescription now. I only have a couple days left of my current stuff, so I can't wait until Friday (and this Friday, my sister isn't taking the kids because she is out of town). However, I can't get it, because there is nobody here with the kids. If you were here, one of us (probably you) would buzz down to the pharmacy to get it. I can't really get it during lunch, because the pharmacy is closer to home than work. It would make no sense for me to drive all the way home, and then all the way back to work... So yeah, I have no idea how/when I am going to get this prescription... It is so frustrating.
I can never "just go" somewhere.
Also, since you've been gone, I keep feeling the need to accomplish stuff on my bucket list. To do something interesting. Something simple would be just going to book club in the neighborhood. Even though it is just at the clubhouse that I can literally see from our back windows, it's just not that easy anymore. THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS. Something complicated would be to actually go to a Zumba class or take piano lessons. But again, THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS...
I'm sure you're thinking that I could just ask my sister or my mom, but they are already here enough! They are with the kids enough! They are doing enough! I don't want to add anything else on to them... And to pay a sitter just so I can go to book club is absolutely ridiculous! I now have to pay someone almost any time I go out, so having a social life just got even more expensive... And that social life would just be book club! It's not like I'm a party animal or anything. So yup, the only people I see are my co-workers and my family...
Another issue I'm having is that I want to put the girls in a gymnastics class. But now that it would be just me bringing the whole crew, I just don't know how I would manage it...
So, moral of the story is, if we thought it was hard to leave the house before, it's damn near impossible now!
This is just another one of those "additional losses" that make me think "now I'm depressed."
Ugh...
Ok, sorry to be such a complainer...
Lovebuckets.
How's it going?
So, remember how we thought it was difficult to leave the house after we had kids? Just thinking about packing them up with all their gear was exhausting...
Well, it's even worse now.
I feel trapped.
When you were hear, if we really needed to get out, one of us could stay home with the kids while the other ran errands or went out or grocery shopped, etc.
Now, I can never leave the house. Unless I want to find a baby-sitter...
If I have any errands, I try to run them during lunch at work. But I can't do everything during that short time.
So, on Fridays my sister takes the kids for a few hours in the morning, and I utilize that time to grocery shop. I will also occasionally schedule appointments during that time, because I know that I have a guaranteed baby-sitter lined up.
I also get out on Thursdays to go to therapy. But I never run errands during that time because my mom is here alone with all 3 kids. I try to schedule my therapy appointments so that the majority of the time I am away, the kids are napping. That way it's not too stressful on my mom... But I still just hurry right to therapy, and then as soon as it's done, I rush right home.
And that's about it.
I am trapped.
Right now, I have a prescription that needs to be picked up. As I mentioned before, our insurance crap is all screwed up. I told the pharmacy that I was going to get that straightened out first, so that I don't have to pay full price again. But since I have to wait for the insurance company to update their info, I really need to pick up the prescription now. I only have a couple days left of my current stuff, so I can't wait until Friday (and this Friday, my sister isn't taking the kids because she is out of town). However, I can't get it, because there is nobody here with the kids. If you were here, one of us (probably you) would buzz down to the pharmacy to get it. I can't really get it during lunch, because the pharmacy is closer to home than work. It would make no sense for me to drive all the way home, and then all the way back to work... So yeah, I have no idea how/when I am going to get this prescription... It is so frustrating.
I can never "just go" somewhere.
Also, since you've been gone, I keep feeling the need to accomplish stuff on my bucket list. To do something interesting. Something simple would be just going to book club in the neighborhood. Even though it is just at the clubhouse that I can literally see from our back windows, it's just not that easy anymore. THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS. Something complicated would be to actually go to a Zumba class or take piano lessons. But again, THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS...
I'm sure you're thinking that I could just ask my sister or my mom, but they are already here enough! They are with the kids enough! They are doing enough! I don't want to add anything else on to them... And to pay a sitter just so I can go to book club is absolutely ridiculous! I now have to pay someone almost any time I go out, so having a social life just got even more expensive... And that social life would just be book club! It's not like I'm a party animal or anything. So yup, the only people I see are my co-workers and my family...
Another issue I'm having is that I want to put the girls in a gymnastics class. But now that it would be just me bringing the whole crew, I just don't know how I would manage it...
So, moral of the story is, if we thought it was hard to leave the house before, it's damn near impossible now!
This is just another one of those "additional losses" that make me think "now I'm depressed."
Ugh...
Ok, sorry to be such a complainer...
Lovebuckets.
Grown Up Crap
Hi Boo,
How's it going? I'm just crabby, blah, annoyed, frustrated, and sad...
So, I hate dealing with "grown up" stuff... Like paying bills, making big decisions, and health insurance crap.
We have COBRA or whatever for our health, dental, and prescription insurance now, and it is SO CONFUSING! I never know who to call when I have questions. I don't even understand what COBRA means!
I'm so frustrated right now because I don't know what company our prescription insurance is through anymore... I've had to pay full price for 2 prescriptions because I don't have a prescription card from anybody, and I needed the scripts right away, so I was just like, whatever, I'll pay for them... Um, FYI, prescriptions aren't cheap. Ugh...
So, I'm trying to figure it out, and I call the COBRA people. They say I have prescription coverage through so-and-so company. K, cool, I have a card for that. I go to the pharmacy, give them the card, and they are like, this is not right... WTF?!?!
So, I call so-and-so company and ask what my coverage is. They are like, you don't have any... More WTF?!?!
So, then I call the COBRA people again. They tell me that I have coverage through that same so-and-so company. I tell them that I just called so-and-so, and they said I don't have coverage. The lady was like, well, I'm not sure what the deal is, but I'll send them an urgent message to get it updated, give them 7-10 business days to update their system. WTF?!?! I need prescriptions NOW! I can't wait 7-10 days... grrr...
So yeah, now I have to wait and see if they get their crap updated... Hopefully I'll be reimbursed for whatever I paid... I think I need to save receipts or something...
Anyways, I'm just blah about all this stuff. I hate being a grown up.
I miss you. Love.
How's it going? I'm just crabby, blah, annoyed, frustrated, and sad...
So, I hate dealing with "grown up" stuff... Like paying bills, making big decisions, and health insurance crap.
We have COBRA or whatever for our health, dental, and prescription insurance now, and it is SO CONFUSING! I never know who to call when I have questions. I don't even understand what COBRA means!
I'm so frustrated right now because I don't know what company our prescription insurance is through anymore... I've had to pay full price for 2 prescriptions because I don't have a prescription card from anybody, and I needed the scripts right away, so I was just like, whatever, I'll pay for them... Um, FYI, prescriptions aren't cheap. Ugh...
So, I'm trying to figure it out, and I call the COBRA people. They say I have prescription coverage through so-and-so company. K, cool, I have a card for that. I go to the pharmacy, give them the card, and they are like, this is not right... WTF?!?!
So, I call so-and-so company and ask what my coverage is. They are like, you don't have any... More WTF?!?!
So, then I call the COBRA people again. They tell me that I have coverage through that same so-and-so company. I tell them that I just called so-and-so, and they said I don't have coverage. The lady was like, well, I'm not sure what the deal is, but I'll send them an urgent message to get it updated, give them 7-10 business days to update their system. WTF?!?! I need prescriptions NOW! I can't wait 7-10 days... grrr...
So yeah, now I have to wait and see if they get their crap updated... Hopefully I'll be reimbursed for whatever I paid... I think I need to save receipts or something...
Anyways, I'm just blah about all this stuff. I hate being a grown up.
I miss you. Love.
Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Feeling Blue
Hey boo,
How's it going? I feel blue... :-P
I wish I could explain how much I miss you. There are no words to really express it. I just miss you so much! Ugh...
I had a breakdown at work today... I try very hard to keep all my crazyness smooshed down inside while I'm at work. Nobody wants to work with a hysterical person! I try hard not to complain about how crappy things are for me right now. I just try to act "normal."
But sometimes little things trigger my crazyness. And once it starts, it is almost impossible to get back under control. I have to leave my office and either go in the bathroom or out to my car. And sometimes I think I have it under control, but I get back to my desk and still can't hold myself together. I've had to take my laptop into a conference room so I could just cry and work at the same time...
Once I finally pull it back together, I'm exhausted. I can't believe how exhausting emotions can be. I just feel so drained. Blah...
Anyways, like I said before, I miss you.
Love.
How's it going? I feel blue... :-P
I wish I could explain how much I miss you. There are no words to really express it. I just miss you so much! Ugh...
I had a breakdown at work today... I try very hard to keep all my crazyness smooshed down inside while I'm at work. Nobody wants to work with a hysterical person! I try hard not to complain about how crappy things are for me right now. I just try to act "normal."
But sometimes little things trigger my crazyness. And once it starts, it is almost impossible to get back under control. I have to leave my office and either go in the bathroom or out to my car. And sometimes I think I have it under control, but I get back to my desk and still can't hold myself together. I've had to take my laptop into a conference room so I could just cry and work at the same time...
Once I finally pull it back together, I'm exhausted. I can't believe how exhausting emotions can be. I just feel so drained. Blah...
Anyways, like I said before, I miss you.
Love.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Imagine Dragons
Hey boo,
How's it going?
So, this is the totally random thing that I would typically email you...
Basically, my mind is blown right now! I recently discovered Spotify, and it is so much better than Pandora! I can pretty much type in any song or CD I want and listen to the entire thing.
So, today I decided to listen to the Imagine Dragons album because it's one of the top listened to albums, and I liked their Radioactive song...
So, remember one time when they first started playing Radioactive on the radio, I was like, "Huh, that's who Imagine Dragons is... I had seen a lot of people post about them on FB, but had never heard them..."
Well, apparently I had! The song "It's Time" started playing, and I was like, WTF, why is this playing in the middle of the Imagine Dragons CD??? I thought maybe I had pushed something wrong so other songs were in my playlist.
Nope, that's just an Imagine Dragons song. Ha! I had no idea they sang that. I was laughing to myself. I felt like I was living under a rock or something. I've heard that song at least a million times, and I thought it was somebody else singing it.
Ok, so maybe I'm just easily amused, but this is something I would tell you about. I don't think anyone else would understand my crazyness...
I miss you.
Lovebuckets!
How's it going?
So, this is the totally random thing that I would typically email you...
Basically, my mind is blown right now! I recently discovered Spotify, and it is so much better than Pandora! I can pretty much type in any song or CD I want and listen to the entire thing.
So, today I decided to listen to the Imagine Dragons album because it's one of the top listened to albums, and I liked their Radioactive song...
So, remember one time when they first started playing Radioactive on the radio, I was like, "Huh, that's who Imagine Dragons is... I had seen a lot of people post about them on FB, but had never heard them..."
Well, apparently I had! The song "It's Time" started playing, and I was like, WTF, why is this playing in the middle of the Imagine Dragons CD??? I thought maybe I had pushed something wrong so other songs were in my playlist.
Nope, that's just an Imagine Dragons song. Ha! I had no idea they sang that. I was laughing to myself. I felt like I was living under a rock or something. I've heard that song at least a million times, and I thought it was somebody else singing it.
Ok, so maybe I'm just easily amused, but this is something I would tell you about. I don't think anyone else would understand my crazyness...
I miss you.
Lovebuckets!
Randomly Random
Hey boo,
How's it going? I am just missing you...
My mind has been extremely more clustered lately... I have no idea why. I have random things that pop into my head all the time, and then it's almost like as soon as it pops in my head, it's gone again! Some of the stuff is actually important too! I try to write stuff down, but I'm not always able to, so the thought gets lost until it decides to pop back in my mind again...
So yeah, as always, there is a ton of stuff I want to tell you, but I just can't remember it all.
Basically, I miss you. That's really the most important thing...
Oh man, I remembered one of my random thoughts!
So, remember how when Cullen Finnerty was missing and then found dead? There was such a big deal at GVSU about it. And although I was very sad for his family and friends, I was annoyed with GVSU making such a big deal about it. I was saying that there are probably A LOT of other GVSU alumni that passed away that just went unnoticed by the university. Sure, he was a big shot football player, but does that mean all the rest of us are just chopped liver? I see no pomp and circumstance for you at GVSU... So yeah, I'm just annoyed at GVSU about that... But what doesn't annoy me lately?!?!?!
Ok, that's it for now. Love!
How's it going? I am just missing you...
My mind has been extremely more clustered lately... I have no idea why. I have random things that pop into my head all the time, and then it's almost like as soon as it pops in my head, it's gone again! Some of the stuff is actually important too! I try to write stuff down, but I'm not always able to, so the thought gets lost until it decides to pop back in my mind again...
So yeah, as always, there is a ton of stuff I want to tell you, but I just can't remember it all.
Basically, I miss you. That's really the most important thing...
Oh man, I remembered one of my random thoughts!
So, remember how when Cullen Finnerty was missing and then found dead? There was such a big deal at GVSU about it. And although I was very sad for his family and friends, I was annoyed with GVSU making such a big deal about it. I was saying that there are probably A LOT of other GVSU alumni that passed away that just went unnoticed by the university. Sure, he was a big shot football player, but does that mean all the rest of us are just chopped liver? I see no pomp and circumstance for you at GVSU... So yeah, I'm just annoyed at GVSU about that... But what doesn't annoy me lately?!?!?!
Ok, that's it for now. Love!
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