Trapped

Hey Boo,

How's it going?

So, remember how we thought it was difficult to leave the house after we had kids?  Just thinking about packing them up with all their gear was exhausting...

Well, it's even worse now.

I feel trapped.

When you were hear, if we really needed to get out, one of us could stay home with the kids while the other ran errands or went out or grocery shopped, etc.

Now, I can never leave the house.  Unless I want to find a baby-sitter...

If I have any errands, I try to run them during lunch at work.  But I can't do everything during that short time.

So, on Fridays my sister takes the kids for a few hours in the morning, and I utilize that time to grocery shop.  I will also occasionally schedule appointments during that time, because I know that I have a guaranteed baby-sitter lined up.

I also get out on Thursdays to go to therapy.  But I never run errands during that time because my mom is here alone with all 3 kids.  I try to schedule my therapy appointments so that the majority of the time I am away, the kids are napping.  That way it's not too stressful on my mom... But I still just hurry right to therapy, and then as soon as it's done, I rush right home.

And that's about it.

I am trapped.

Right now, I have a prescription that needs to be picked up.  As I mentioned before, our insurance crap is all screwed up.  I told the pharmacy that I was going to get that straightened out first, so that I don't have to pay full price again.  But since I have to wait for the insurance company to update their info, I really need to pick up the prescription now.  I only have a couple days left of my current stuff, so I can't wait until Friday (and this Friday, my sister isn't taking the kids because she is out of town).  However, I can't get it, because there is nobody here with the kids.  If you were here, one of us (probably you) would buzz down to the pharmacy to get it.  I can't really get it during lunch, because the pharmacy is closer to home than work. It would make no sense for me to drive all the way home, and then all the way back to work... So yeah, I have no idea how/when I am going to get this prescription... It is so frustrating.

I can never "just go" somewhere.

Also, since you've been gone, I keep feeling the need to accomplish stuff on my bucket list.  To do something interesting.  Something simple would be just going to book club in the neighborhood.  Even though it is just at the clubhouse that I can literally see from our back windows, it's just not that easy anymore.  THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS.  Something complicated would be to actually go to a Zumba class or take piano lessons.  But again, THERE IS NOBODY TO STAY WITH THE KIDS...

I'm sure you're thinking that I could just ask my sister or my mom, but they are already here enough!  They are with the kids enough!  They are doing enough!  I don't want to add anything else on to them...  And to pay a sitter just so I can go to book club is absolutely ridiculous!  I now have to pay someone almost any time I go out, so having a social life just got even more expensive... And that social life would just be book club!  It's not like I'm a party animal or anything.  So yup, the only people I see are my co-workers and my family...

Another issue I'm having is that I want to put the girls in a gymnastics class.  But now that it would be just me bringing the whole crew, I just don't know how I would manage it...

So, moral of the story is, if we thought it was hard to leave the house before, it's damn near impossible now!

This is just another one of those "additional losses" that make me think "now I'm depressed."

Ugh...

Ok, sorry to be such a complainer...

Lovebuckets.