Friday, June 6, 2014

10 Months

Hey boo,

How's it going?

Well, it's now been 10 months... Holy balls...

Like I always say, I still can't believe you're gone...

I was driving down to the Perrigo company store on Thursday to make my last visit using your remaining credit, and the whole time I kept thinking, "this is so stupid."  It's so stupid that you aren't here.  It's so stupid that this is happening. Stupid stupid stupid.

When I look at your pictures, I always think how stupid it is that that is the only way I see you now.  You should be sitting here with me.  I also look at them and wonder if you know that you are gone.  Where are you and what are you thinking?  It's not like you were expecting to die at the age of barely 30, so I wonder how you feel about this whole thing?

Death wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't so permanent...

Or if it was like jail (or at least how jail is portrayed on TV and movies), where you're allowed "1 phone call."

If you could make just one phone call to me, and let me know you're OK, it seems like it would make this much easier to handle.  You don't even have to call me, just call someone who can relay the info back to me.

"5 more min..." Like I always said when it was time to wake up in the morning.  Or I wouldn't even bother to talk or open my eyes, I would just show you my hand, like a high five.

Five more minutes is all I'm asking for...


10 months.  That's basically a year... And next month is your birthday...

All of this is so stupid.

I miss you.


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