Tuesday, June 17, 2014

I'm Such a Brat

Hey boo,

How's it going?

So I forgot to tell you how I'm feeling like the Wicked Bitch of the West...

You know how I was bitching the other day about the yard and keeping up with the Jones' and what the neighbors think and blah blah blah?

Well, shortly after that, a big bunch of neighbors came and did a ton of work on our yard.  Like, way more than I was expecting.  I just wanted some grass planted in the back corner of the yard where the new road is.

But they came over and adjusted all our sprinklers, and picked weeds from all over, I think they even trimmed back some of the bushes and trees!


Obviously we are surrounded by some really nice people who have only the best intentions, and sometimes I'm just a big brat.


Anyways, just wanted to share.  I'm still just in a funk.  Like, my heart is heavy.  I know that's just a saying, but I can just feel this weight in my chest.  It's so hard to explain.  Like, the weight of this new reality is settling in on me...

Speaking of which, have a told you about how I'm so frustrated with my posture?   It feels like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders, almost literally!  Like, I can't stand up or sit up straight.  I notice it all the time and then I try to pull my shoulders back, but it just feels so unnatural.   Like, I have no desire to stand up straight (even though I do because it's killing my back).  But I just feel down, and lacking confidence or something, and it's totally affecting my body.  It's so weird.  And I often find myself doing the weird neck cracking thing that you used to do because my shoulders and neck hurt.  Like I'm carrying all the tension there.

Anyways, apparently "grief" affects EVERYTHING.  So much more than I ever would have thought.


Ok, that's it.  I miss you every second.


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