Crazy Person

Hey boo,

How's it going?  I'm going absolutely ape-shit crazy.

Seriously, I am a hot. mess. of. crazy.

When people come up to me and say "Hi, how are you?"  obviously, my automatic response is "Fine, thanks.  And you?"

But sometimes, I am this close to saying "Absolutely fucking horrible."

I don't say that, because the other person doesn't deserve my snarky, no-good, cynical attitude...

Basically, I'm hanging on by the most minuscule thread ever.  My cracks are cracking.  And soon, I probably won't be able to hold in my honest response.

Seriously, I wish there was something I could go all "PC Load Letter" on.  The other day I chucked my pen at my computer screen at work.  Take that you stupid fucking computer!  Yeah, it didn't really help.

Anyways, I am so screwed up.  And it's getting harder to pretend that I'm not.

But despite all my crazyness, my therapist says that certain things and changes in me show "growth."  So, I guess "yay" for that...  But I don't even know what I'm supposed to be "growing" towards...

Shoot, that reminds me, I had a homework assignment.  I'm supposed to write down some of my goals, long-term, short-term, whatever.  Hmmm... For short term, how about to get through the next 60 seconds.  Long term, to get through the next 5 minutes.  Sounds good to me!  I don't think that's what she had in mind though, I'd probably fail that assignment...

Anyways, I miss the shit out of you.  Yeah, who cares if that doesn't make sense.

Hearts and farts.