The Little Things

Hey boo,

How's it going?  I'm my usual blah self...

So, one of the things that I'm always worried about is forgetting.  Forgetting how you look, how you smell, how your hands felt.  Forgetting the little idiosyncrasies that you had.  Forgetting all the memories we made together.  Forgetting what it was like on just a typical day of "us."

I keep telling myself I'm going to write it all down before I forget.  But when I have a few minutes to spare, I just can't think of anything to write!  It is so weird.

But as I go through the motions of the day, little things will remind me of you.  And I think "I need to write that down.  Remember to write that down tonight!"  But of course, I forget... I feel like I need one of those voice recorder things to say my thoughts when I'm not able to write them down... I'm sure I'd be super cool doing that! :-P

I try to include little bits of memories in relation to whatever I'm emailing you.  But those little bits are SO SMALL compared to EVERYTHING that I NEED to remember.

But I guess I have to start somewhere...

So, here's one of the stupid, insignificant, little things that just I don't want to forget:

Yesterday, the girls were suddenly interested in looking inside their sippy cups at their milk.  "I wan' see it!" is what they say...  So, I unscrew the lid off Charlotte's sippy cup, and show her.  Then of course Violet "wan' see it!" so I show her too.  Then Violet wants to see in her own sippy cup, so I have to show her and Charlotte that one too.

Then they want to see "Momma's milk", which is really my can of Diet Coke.

So, obviously there is no lid to take off of the can, it's just the little hole in the top that they can look in.

And that's when I remembered how you would open your can of pop.  You would only push the little tab thingy half-way down.  It would drive me nuts!  To me, it seemed like the can of pop was only half way open!  If for some reason I was taking a sip of your pop, I would push the tab all the way down, and that would annoy you!

Seriously.  It's just the little things...

Oh, and this reminds me of one more thing!  You LOVED "skinny" straws.  I think Wendy's had the best straws according to you.  You hated when they were too fat.  I don't remember why, but I do remember that.  I wish you were here so I could ask you "why?"

Oh, and today my cell phone rang while I was driving in my car.  Of course, who calls me in the middle of the day??!?!  And the first person I thought it might be was you.  And then I was like, oh.

Sigh...

When someone looks at their child and thinks "how is it possible to love someone SO MUCH?"  I now think, "how is it possible to MISS someone SO MUCH?"

I miss you.  A LOT.

Lovebuckets.