Meijer

Hey boo,

How's it going?  It's Sunday night, and you know how I feel about that... bleh...

I took the kids to Meijer this morning.  I needed to order Will's birthday cake for next weekend.  I still can't believe he is going to be 1.  I am freaking out about it!

Anyways, we wandered around there for a while, and picked up a few things.  I can't really get a lot when I have all 3 of them, because there is no cart space!  The girls sit in the big part of the cart, and Will sits where a child is actually supposed to sit, in the seat at the top of the cart.  So yeah, I try to squish things in where ever I can.  I keep my purse and the diaper bag in the part near my feet, where people usually put milk and stuff.  It's just crazy, I need to figure out a better system with our Meijer visits...

So anyways, when I was checking out, the cashier was asked, "Are they triplets, or just really close in age...?"

Ha!

I smiled, and said "No.  They are twins, and he is 15 months younger than them."

And she said "Wow, you must be busy!"

And in my head, I'm thinking 'You have no idea..." but on the outside, I just nod and smile.

And then she asked, "Are you going to have anymore?"

And I of course said, "Nope. I'm done."  And she laughed.  But in my head, I was thinking, um, not by choice lady! I actually wanted 1 more!  But you kind of need a husband to have more babies!  Ok, well, not necessarily... but for me, it's kind of a requirement...

Anyways, obviously this woman didn't know me or our crazy situation.  She was just making small talk.  But of course it totally made me feel blah, and miss you that much more!  Sometimes it's nice to be "incognito" and not have people know our sad little story.  And other times, it just makes the giant hole of what we are missing feel even bigger...

So yeah, that's my story.  I just want my "before" life back so much.  I miss being happy and looking forward to the future.  I miss small talk that didn't depress me so much.  I just MISS YOU!

Ok, that's it... Love.